"1. Message from Guy: Catch Our Stars\n\n2. High Q\n\n3. The Merv Griffin Show: Arafat, Liberace, Ferigno\n\n4. English for Beginners\n\n5. Dr. Benson Credit Psychiatrist\n\n6. Message from Prickley: The New Season\n\n7. Leave It to Beaver 25th Anniversary Party\n\n8. Great White North: The Best Groups and Doug's Imitations\n\n9. Dan Money\n\n10. One On the Town: Levon Helm\n\n11. Message from Hal Waxberg: Behind the Scenes\n\n12. The $Millionaire\n\n13. 20 Depressing Hits by Connie Franklin\n\n14. Message from Guy: Consultant\n\n15. Commercial: Half Legs\n\n16. Masterpiece Theatre: All the Long-Leggedy Beasties\n\n17. Spray-On Socks\n\n18. Play It Again, Bob"

"1. 5 Neat Guys: Neatest Hits\n\n2. Tim Ishimuni Show\n\n3. Kwallada\n\n4. Message from Prickley: Polynesiantown\n\n5. SCTV Movie Of the Week: Polynesiantown\n\n6. Larry Siegel Talk Show\n\n7. Indira, live at the Ackron Arena\n\n8. Great White North: Traveling and Salaries\n\n9. Brenda Vaccaro for Bren's Genfem Protecteze Pons\n\n10. Sammy Maudlin Show: Drugs and Hollywood\n\n11. The Rosemans\n\n12. Yuri: Getting to Know You\n\n13. Will: The Movie\n\n14. SCTV British Film Festival: Look Back in a Bloody Rage\n\n15. Gerry Todd Show\n\n16. Crazy Hy's: TVs\n\n17. Incredible Cash Contest\n\n18. Crazy Hy's: Satellite Dishes"

"1. Sunrise Semester: Conversational New Yorkese with Norman Gorman\n\n2. Lola Heatherton In Concert\n\n3. Yellowbelly\n\n4. Speaking of Talk with Lou Jaffe\n\n5. Message from Guy: Illegal Aliens\n\n6. Melvin and Howard\n\n7. Sneak Previews: Empires are a Girl's Best Friend\n\n8. The Point Shave and Haircut from Shickette\n\n9. Dick Cavett\n\n10. The Fracases: Southside Fracas\n\n11. Only for Women: Divorce\n\n12. Great White North: Making Doug Go\n\n13. The Babe Ruth Story\n\n14. Sid Dithers Private Eye\n\n15. Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Whispers of the Wolf"

"1. Comment with David Brinkley: Quality Smoke\n\n2. Cooking with Prickley\n\n3. Tex and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: Rhythm Ace\n\n4. Career Home Study\n\n5. Mr. Science: Coffee\n\n6. Sammy Maudlin Show: Bob Hope in China\n\n7. Taxi Driver with Woody Allen\n\n8. Transmission Difficulty \/ Program Change\n\n9. What's My Shoesize?\n\n10. Great White North: Parking at Donut Places\n\n11. Taxi Driver with Gregory Peck\n\n12. Lee A. Iacocca's Rock Concert\n\n13. Extreme Close-Up with Dave Thomas\n\n14. The Man Who Would Be King of the Popes\n\n15. Taxi Driver with Sid Dithers\n\n16. The Love Boat: Deerhunter Special\n\n17. Chet Vet, the Dead Pet Remover\n\n18. My Fair Lady\n\n19. Harlett Romances\n\n20. Mel's Rock Pile: Richard Harris\n\n21. Shock Theatre: Early to Bed"

"1. Tomorrow, Tonight, Today\n\n2. Fillips Milk of Amnesia\n\n3. LaRue Wrap\n\n4. Sunrise Semester: Man's Ability to Imitate with Mr. Wilcox\n\n5. My Life \u2013 One More Time\n\n6. SCTV Special Report: The Space Shuttle\n\n7. Phil\u2019s Nails\n\n8. Great White North: Backbacon and Snow Chains\n\n9. Bad Acting in Hollywood with Tom Boslee\n\n10. Biller Hi-Lite\n\n11. Long Distance\n\n12. Lunch Time Street Beef\n\n13. SCTV Movie of the Week: The Grapes of Mud\n\n14. Words to Live By: Rabbi Karlov\n\n15. Sunrise Semester: Faking Orgasms with Dr. Cheryl Kinsey"

"1. Sunrise Semester: Post Natal Exercises\n\n2. Poochare Dog Food\n\n3. Sunbright\n\n4. Message from Guy: Sponsors\n\n5. Moral Majority Wrap\n\n6. The Merv Griffin Show: Return to Mayberry\n\n7. Critics Corner with Bill Needle: The Moral Majority\n\n8. Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town: Counting to 10\n\n9. National Midnight Star\n\n10. The Brooke Shields Show\n\n11. Doorway to Hell: The Man Who Lived in a Box\n\n12. Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dr. Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses\n\n13. Great White North: Stuff that Bugs Us\n\n14. Message from Guy: Pressure Groups\n\n15. Harry's Discount Sex Shop\n\n16. Floyd Robertson for Rolling Hills\n\n17. SCTV News: Floyd's Rehab\n\n18. The Gerry Todd Show\n\n19. Crazy Hy\u2019s: Home Studio\n\n20. Carpets Galore"

"1. Pledge Week\n\n2. Dr. Shekter\n\n3. Farm Film Report\n\n4. Kovak Expert\n\n5. Studio Tour\n\n6. Mel\u2019s Rock Pile: 20th Anniversary Special with Roy Orbison\n\n7. Tracking the Unknown with Edith Prickley\n\n8. Critic's Corner with Bill Needle: RCA Editorial\n\n9. Roy Orbison: Workin' for the Man\n\n10. Fireside Chat: Gun Control\n\n11. Pit Stop Deodorant\n\n12. Great White North: Calculators\n\n13. Hugh Betcha's Short Story Playhouse: The Private Booth\n\n14. O'Henry's Life: The Private Booth"

"1. Gene Shalit Critic\u2019s Special\n\n2. Wrong Side of the Bed with Bill Needle\n\n3. John McEnroe for Coffee\n\n4. Lola Wrap\n\n5. Jake Lamotta\u2019s Raging Bull-B-Q\n\n6. The Fishin\u2019 Musician: The Tubes\n\n7. K-Tel Product Crusher\n\n8. SCTV News: Lola Obituary\n\n9. You: Dr. Saul Reuben\n\n10. Bouncin\u2019 Back to You\n\n11. SCTV Movie Of the Week: The Nobel"

"1. Max Lax Coffee Laxative\n\n2. Bob and Doug Wrap\n\n3. Harry Filth\n\n4. Money Talks with Brian Johns: William Douglas\n\n5. The Johnny La Rue Exercise Show\n\n6. Shakespeare in the Park\n\n7. The Heys of Our Lives\n\n8. SCTV Afternoon Movie: Fantasy Island\n\n9. Anne Murray Super Special\n\n10. PSA: Mental Illness\n\n11. David Susskind Show\n\n12. LaRue Tachi Portable Quadraphonic System\n\n13. Great White North: Ian Thomas\n\n14. Signoff: The National Anthem"

""

"1. Perry Como Still Alive\n\n2. Tammy Bakker for Mayberline Mascara\n\n3. Benny Hill Street Blues\n\n4. Great White North: Economics\n\n5. Way to Go, Woman: Mother Theresa\n\n6. Julius Caesar\n\n7. Today is Moscow\n\n8. Russian Wrap\n\n9. Uposcrabblenyk\n\n10. What Fits into Russia\n\n11. PSA: Uzbecks\n\n12. SCTV Movie Of the Week: The Jazz Singer with Al Jarreau\n\n13. The Cruisin\u2019 Gormet\n\n14. Hey, Giorgy\n\n15. Strelnokoff Vodka\n\n16. Tibor\u2019s Tractor\n\n17. Wet Nurse\n\n18. Eskimo Arts - Two Folon Sale"

"1. Ricardo Montalban School of Fine Acting\n\n2. Sunrise Semester: Ventriloquism with Mr. Wilcox\n\n3. Night School High Q\n\n4. Perma-Lacque Hair Spray\n\n5. Great White North: Mouse in a Bottle\n\n6. You: I'm Taking My Own Head...\n\n7. Video Dinners from Videotech\n\n8. Critic's Corner with Bill Needle: Theatre Beat\n\n9. The Fishin' Musician: The Plasmatics\n\n10. Send $10.00 to BOX 1980\n\n11. Theatre Beat with Bill Needle: I'm Taking My Own Head\n\n12. You: Dr. Bernard Coddle\n\n13. Dusty Towne at Lucifer's Arena\n\n14. My Bloody Hand\n\n15. Cow Malt Liquor\n\n16. SCTV Movie of the Week: Power Play"

"1. PSA: American Orthodontal Group - Dental Floss\n\n2. Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town: G. Gordon Liddy\n\n3. Zontar Wrap\n\n4. Great White North: Short Cuts\n\n5. George Carlin\u2019s Reel Love\n\n6. The D'Annamora Prison Choir - For Lifers Only\n\n7. Farm Film Report: Meryl Streep\n\n8. Don Rickles' Love Is the Greatest Gift God Gave Us....And I Mean that Sincerely\n\n9. SCTV Evening News: Zontar\n\n10. Ted Gordon, Overbooked Attorney\n\n11. The Sammy Maudlin Show: Natalie Cole\n\n12. Tex and Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium\n\n13. Poochare Dog Food\n\n14. Money Talks with Brian Johns: Henna Claire Graham\n\n15. Henry Moore for American Express\n\n16. Dr. Schekter"

"1. 5 Neat Guys Gold\n\n2. Emergency Caterers\n\n3. Walter Cronkite's Brain\n\n4. Tylenex with Perini Scleroso\n\n5. Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Slinky...Toy from Hell\n\n6. Small Town Dick\n\n7. SCTV Movie of the Week: Gangway for Miracles\n\n8. Great White North: Carpets\n\n9. The Merv Griffin Show: The 60's\n\n10. The Pepsi Challenge with Perini Scleroso\n\n11. Pre-Teen World: Rough Trade\n\n12. Carl's Cuts: Head Cheese\n\n13. Slappy 2000 Home Comedy Center\n\n14. Steeplechase\n\n15. Shine Liquid Detergent with Perini Scleroso\n\n16. Sunrise Semester: Screen Acting V with Dr. Tongue and Woody Tobias, Jr.\n\n17. Videodating"

"1. Double Love\n\n2. Great White North: Microwave Ovens\n\n3. SCTV After School Special: Pepi Longsocks\n\n4. Harry's Discount Sex Shop: Harry's Library of Distinction\n\n5. The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bobby and Skip Bittman\n\n6. SCTV Movie of the Week: New York Rhapsody\n\n7. Al Peck's Sanitone Drycleaning\n\n8. Doorway to Hell\n\n9. Hollywood Squares Home Game\n\n10. Message from Guy: Suggestions\n\n11. The Nana Mouskouri Story\n\n12. Fireside Chat: Police Blotter\n\n13. Half Legs"

"1. Katharine Hepburn for Twillings Tea\n\n2. The Godfather\n\n3. Great White North: Long Underwear and Backbacon\n\n4. SCTV Special Presentation: 3-D House of Beef\n\n5. Birkney's Diamonds\n\n6. SCTV Movie of the Week: The Vikings and the Beekeepers."

"1. Liberace's Musical Tribute to the Holidays\n\n2. SCTV Staff Party\n\n3. Great White North: Beer Nog\n\n4. Fireside Chat: Christmas Message\n\n5. The Sammy Maudlin Show: Neil Simon\n\n6. Frank Incense\n\n7. Neil Simon's Nutcracker Suite\n\n8. Street Beef: Christmas\n\n9. Dusty Towne Sexy Holiday Special"

"1. Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dr. Tongue's Evil House of Pancakes\n\n2. Give 'Em Hell, Bess\n\n3. Farm Film Report: Brooke Shields and the Boomtown Rats\n\n4. PSA: Video - Use It, Don't Abuse It\n\n5. Great White North: The Great White North\n\n6. Shoot for the Stars with Bill Needle\n\n7. SCTV Movie of the Week: Teacher's Pet\n\n8. SCTV Classics: Ben-Hur\n\n9. Special Offer - Fur from Davy Crockett's Hat\n\n10. The Lone Ranger Show"

"1. Norman White and the White Scat Chorale\n\n2. Comment with David Brinkley: Music Impersonators\n\n3. Rent-A-Retort\/Hire-A-Harpie\n\n4. Sunrise Semester: Lake Monsters with Angus Crock\n\n5. Midnight Video Special\n\n6. All Girl Friday Night Pajama Party\n\n7. K-I-L Ammo\n\n8. Al\u2019s Garage\n\n9. One on the Town: Singles Bars\n\n10. Fireside Chat: Special Announcement\n\n11. Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Blood-Sucking Monkeys\n\n12. Great White North: The Space Arm\/Snow Routes\n\n13. SCTV Classics: Lust for Paint\n\n14. Fish Police\n\n15. Logos Galore\n\n16. Alfred Hitchcock Presents"

"1. Message from Guy: Reruns\n\n2. Indira, Live at the Ackron Arena\n\n3. Angie Dickenson for Fancy-Free Undershields\n\n4. Bob and Doug Wrap\n\n5. Al Peck's Used Cars\n\n6. The Days of the Week\n\n7. Way to Go, Woman: Mother Theresa\n\n8. Great White North Special\n\n9. You: Fitness\n\n10. Nightline Melonville: Unemployment\n\n11. The Great White North Palace\n\n12. Reverend Dan Ellsmire - Be My Friend"

"1. Hands Off Remote Control Converter from Videotech\n\n2. National Midnight Star\n\n3. Pre-Teen World Telethon\n\n4. Turk Gruman Police Dispatcher\n\n5. SCTV Movie of the Week: Maudlin's Eleven\n\n6. Prickley Heat\n\n7. The Adventures of Shake 'n' Bake\n\n8. Nightline Melonville: Kidnapping\n\n9. Surgical Clinical Instruments\n\n10. PSA: National Committee Against Noise Pollution"

"1. People's Global Golden Choice Awards\n\n2. Bob's Big Guy Restaurant\n\n3. Convert-A-Toupe\n\n4. The Merv Griffin Show: The Special Edition\n\n5. Great White North: 15-pin Bowling\n\n6. Tex and Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Chuckie\n\n7. The Fishin' Musician: Third World"

"1. Message from Guy: The Days of the Week\n\n2. Gene Shalit for Bufferil\n\n3. House in a Box\n\n4. The Days of the Week\n\n5. Just for Fun: Copland, Friedan, Solzhenitzen\n\n6. Dr. X: An Old Friend Returns\n\n7. Tex and Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Lawn Ornament Daze\n\n8. The Making of 3D Stake from the Heart\n\n9. Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Western Clothing\n\n10. Reverend Dan Ellsmire - Surprise Grab Bag\n\n11. ? and Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Auditions\n\n12. The Irv Goldfarb Show\n\n13. Bali Indonesian Cuisine Restaurant\n\n14. The Irv Goldfarb Show\n\n15. Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium: Countess Boileena\n\n16. Sunrise Semester: Conversational New Yorkese II with Norman Gorman"

"1. Annie with The Original Cast\n\n2. Stairways to Heaven\n\n3. Donahue: Pornography\n\n4. Pet Peeves of the Stars\n\n5. The Days of the Week\n\n6. The Happy Wanderers: Linsk Minyk\n\n7. Shmenge Travel\n\n8. The Happy Wanderers Looking Back on Shmenge Records\n\n9. Second Nose Job\n\n10. Nightline Melonville: Milk Slush Fund\n\n11. Audiogames by Intellicoustic\n\n12. The Fishin' Musician: Carl Perkins\n\n13. K-I-L Ammo\n\n14. Great White North: How to Beat the Russians\n\n15. LaRue Fish Flakes and Frosted Fish Flakes\n\n16. Stand Up and Be Counted with Bill Needle"

"1. Commercial: Luciano Pavarotti for Edison Gum\n\n2. The Sammy Maudlin Show: Chariots of Eggs\n\n3. Johnny LaRue's Discount Deprive-O-Rama\n\n4. SCTV News Special Report: NASA Production of Murder in the Cathedral\n\n5. The Days of the Week\n\n6. Ethel Merman Wake Up and Love Me\n\n7. Great White North: Twist-off Beer Caps\n\n8. Mr. Boom Microphone (from Ronco)\n\n9. Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town: Prison\n\n10. Wheelbarrow World\n\n11. Revenge\n\n12. Carl's Cuts: Film Editing\n\n13. Message from Guy: SCTV's Political Stance"

"1. Long Distance\n\n2. SCTV Sports: Battle of the PBS Stars\n\n3. Wok on the Wild Side: The Case of the Stir-Fried Corpse\n\n4. The Days of the Week\n\n5. SCTV Movie of the Week: I Was a Teenage Communist\n\n6. Harry's Discount Sex Shop: Businessman of the Year\n\n7. Big Dude TV Dinner\n\n8. Charlie's Kitchen\n\n9. Mean Joe Greene Playhouse\n\n10. Love Slaves of the Southwest\n\n11. Comment with David Brinkley: Boredom"

"1. \"Mr. Know-It-All\" The Life of Nostradamus - The Promo\n\n2. Identical Bellhops\n\n3. Money Talks with Brian Johns: Condominiums\n\n4. Nightline Melonville: Margaret Thatcher and Tip O'Neill\n\n5. Jerry Lewis Live on the Champs Elysees\n\n6. Great White North: Dog Scoopers\n\n7. The Days of the Week\n\n8. International House of Panties\n\n9. SCTV Foreign Film Festival: Rome, Italian Style\n\n10. The Fishin' Musician: Jimmy Buffett\n\n11. One-stop Lifestyle Services\n\n12. Mouse House\n\n13. Fireside Chat: Chipped Tooth\n\n14. Norton Sheeff's The Making of: Dr. X\n\n15. General Life's Insight\n\n16. Sunrise Semester: Elementary Drawing 101 with Salvador Dali"

"1. DiMaggio's on the Wharf\n\n2. Street Beef Wrap\n\n3. Norman Mailer for Tyde\n\n4. Talking Projector Adventure Series\n\n5. The Days of the Week episode 6: The Wedding\n\n6. Street Beef: The Big O\n\n7. Lipschitz & Lipschitz\n\n8. TV Talk with Bill Needle\n\n9. Carl's Cuts: Free Delivery\n\n10. SCTV After School Special: How Nosy the Short-Haired Terrier Dog Got His Name\n\n11. The Wall Street Journal\n\n12. Finian's Rainbow Meats"

"With a garbage strike looming, Edith persuades Pierre Trudeau to let SCTV pick up the CBC feed. Meanwhile, Sammy Maudlin decides to celebrate the 25th anniversary of his show two years early."

"Fred Willard is involved in a scheme Guy Caballero has hatched, forcing the arrival of SCTV Chairman Alan \"\"Crazy Legs\"\" Shipman."

"The second election episode, as covered by SCTV News Election Central. Also features the Shmenge's tribute to John Williams and the very first Stars In One, hosted by Brock Linehan, Martin Short's superb impression of Canadian celebrity interviewer Brian Linehan."

"\"Angel Cortez: FBI Jockey,\" \n\nBobby Bittman PSA for the Public Library, \n\nGus the Security Guard makes everyone sign in, \n\nJohn Houseman reads the phone book, \n\n\"Farm Film Report\" with Deney Terrio,\n\nThe band America performs \"Right Before Your Eyes,\"\n\nSCTV Movie of the Week: \"The Bowery Boys In The Band,\" \n\nDr. Rawl Withers introduces The National Midnight Star,\n\nHarry the guy with a snake on his face sells descramblers. \n\nA \"reasonably faithful\" spoof of Jane Eyre,\n\nReverend Gene Filler of the Church of Unlimited Credit, \n\n\"Monster Chiller Horror Theater\" presents Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Slave Chicks, \n\nCurly Howard sings love themes, \n\nGus asks Edith Prickley out, \n\nPeople's Court (joined in progress), \n\nRev. Gene Filler returns."

"The SCTV office moves into the tallest, thinnest building in Melonville, which turns into a spoof of 'The Towering Inferno' as Guy, Edith, and others are trapped in the 200-story tall building just as a fire breaks out and strands them on the uppers floors. Also, \"Peter Pan\" starring Divine and David Steinberg. Al Peck sells used fruit. \"There's Justice For Everybody\" starring Steve Roman. An ad for the Kid Sister Organization. \"Monster Chiller Horror Theater.\" \"One On the Town\" looks at public transportation. When Wives Look Older Than Their Husbands: Farm Wives. \"Let's Find Jerzy.\" Shakespeare for College Credit. The first \"Melonville Calendar,\" and \"Words to Live By\" starring Mr. Mambo."

"Guy Caballero and Johnny LaRue come to blows over a meager Christmas bonus, resulting in a busted, drunken Johnny desperately tracking down Santa. Segments include Lola Heatherton's \"Love Spirit\" Christmas Special. Ed Grimley stars in \"The Fella Who Couldn't Wait For Christmas.\" Rex and Edna Boil's Curio Emporium. Count Floyd's \"Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas.\" The lighting of the Melonville Christmas Tree. The Shmenge brothers explore Leutonian Christmas traditions. \"Pre-Teen World Christmas Edition.\" Bobby Bittman and Jackie Rogers Jr. star in \"Christmas - That's All.\" \"You. with Libby Wolfson\" looks at Chanukah."

"\"The Days of the Week\" returns for another six-episode run with a few new characters. The debut of \"Half Wits\" and \"Artisans and Their Art with Bradley P. Allen\". A spoof of the 1976 film 'A Star is Born' starring Crystal Gayle as an up-and-coming singer named Esther Blodgett who deals with her alcoholic husband who is past his prime. Finally, Idella Voudry makes her first appearance on \"Melonville Calendar.\""

"To encourage small business advertising, SCTV cuts its ad rates, resulting in a series of on-the-cheap ads for several micro-entrepreneurs. In the segment \"Stars In One\" profiles aging child star Rusty Van Reddick. Vic Hedges stars in \"Vic Arpeggio, Private Investigator\". Steve Roman plugs his Valentine's Day special. Also, a group of philosophers debate whether the animated cartoon 'The Flintstones' was a rip-off of the 1950s sitcom 'The Honeymooners'."

"After discovering that he's opening for Ben Vereen and not the other way around, Bobby Bittman retires from show business. Sammy Maudlin's ex-sidekick, William B. Williams, hosts his own talk show with Irving Cohen. Bernadette Peters gets blown up real good on \"Farm Film Celebrity Blow-Up\". Also, Episode 9 of \"Days of the Week\" follows our scandalous characters for more drama. \"Sunrise Semester.\" Finally, Claire Warmel presents \"Communicating With Extremities.\""

"It's Sweeps Week and SCTV is promoting specials like \"Jumping for Dollars\", where large busted women jump up and down while Johnny LaRue watches, and \"The Dallas Cowgirls Salute Aaron Copland,\" which is bit more self-explanatory. We also see the preparation for the special \"Night of the Prime Time Stars,\" which is nearly thwarted when a poltergeist haunts the station, kidnapping Ed Grimley and Gus Gustofferson among others. Also, \"Days of the Week\" Episode 10 continues. Finally, promos for the miniseries \"The Long Hard War.\""

"William B Williams returns to the Sammy Maudlin Show, the Shmenges host a beauty pageant, and Jackie Rogers Jr plugs his upcoming special, Jackie, We Hardly Knew Ye."

"A set of unconnected sketches featuring many recurring characters, including a new Count Floyd vehicle, 3D Firing Line, which takes a look at Midnight Cowboy II, Ed Grimley in Whatever Happened to Baby Ed, the final episode of The Days of the Week (with cameos by Catherine O'Hara and Carol Burnett), as well as The Fishin' Musician, Stars In One, and perhaps the finest Mel's Rock Pile - the tribute to punk rock. Not a bad way to leave network television."